Friday, November 25, 2011

Warning - Blubbering Blog to Follow!

So - the wedding is over and I am sure you are all anxiously awaiting pictures. As soon as the lovely bride lets me, I will post some! :)) I will post all the details of wedding week when I post the pictures but for now, this is a more "personal" blog.

The wedding has caused an awful lot of different thoughts and emotions in this strangely mixed up head of mine. I am working on finding my new normal. I haven't decided if one exists or not but I am attempting to locate it! :)) My house was full to the brim for the better part of 8 days or so and I wouldn't trade one little bit of it! I absolutely LOVED the short amount of time on Saturday where all of my children were in my house! We laughed, we cried, we ate, we played and we laughed and cried some more! Sunday had to be one of the most difficult days I have had in awhile. It began around 3:30am when I got up to say goodbye to David, Christa and Addison. Telling Christa goodbye so she could situate herself in the car for the ride to airport with my eyes full of tears was tough! Holding Addison and hugging her sleepy little body should have lasted a lot longer than it did! :)) Then feeling my big, burly boy hug his momma brought on fresh tears that just didn't want to stop! They headed off and I headed back to bed. For sleep?? Yea, right. That didn't happen! I laid there and wondered why God thought this was something necessary for me to do. Its a good thing He is totally used to my questions at this point! I got back up when Kevin came to get Ashley and Andrew to take them to the airport. And guess what, the tears came again for I knew that life with Ashley would never be the same. She was off on her new life. True - she is here, she lives close but......not in my house where she has been for over 20 years! I survived church and leftovers for dinner. Then we loaded up again and headed for the airport with Josh and Carrie. I was pretty proud of myself until I heard the sniffles from the back seat when we were about 10 minutes from the airport. I hugged Josh and then hugged and held Carrie while we both cried some more. I am pretty sure the airport "cop on wheels" was getting antsy with us being in the way! :) I climbed in the car and we pulled away. I am pretty sure Dave thought the blubbering would never stop.

What have I learned in the last couple of weeks? Thankfully, God and Dave never get tired of my blubbering. They both ever so lovingly assure and remind me that this is something I can handle. I can remember reading those books where people would advise couples to make sure they had a life together that did not involve the children and Dave and I have worked hard at doing that. I am so grateful and feel so blessed by the marriage God has given me. But I am still searching and working on my new normal. Some things in my life have not changed. I am still working full time, still going to school (for ONE MORE semester), still going to church, still doing laundry and dishes. Some things just don't change. And the miracle of that is, God doesn't change either. He is still patient, still teaching, still longing for me to spend more time with Him, still prodding me to change the things that don't please Him, still speaking to me in the quiet times. So much has changed in my life but the important things have stayed the same. Dave being the best hubby ever - I never want to take that for granted! God - you see, even in that one word there is peace for He never changes. I am pretty sure He wishes I would but that doesn't make Him stop loving me.

I can't say this blog will mean anything to anyone but me and I guess that is all that matters. I read something the other day that prompted me to tell myself that there is no true worship in whining. I know that God knows I am not trying to whine. I must learn to worship Him in my life! Why?? I have decided in the last 2 weeks that my kids need me more now than ever. They just don't need me the same. They need me on my knees! So - if my blog is silent here and there, I'm praying for my kids! And yes, David and Carrie - that means I am praying for you to move to Indiana!!! :)))))