Warning - Blubbering Blog to Follow!

So - the wedding is over and I am sure you are all anxiously awaiting pictures. As soon as the lovely bride lets me, I will post some! :)) I will post all the details of wedding week when I post the pictures but for now, this is a more "personal" blog.

The wedding has caused an awful lot of different thoughts and emotions in this strangely mixed up head of mine. I am working on finding my new normal. I haven't decided if one exists or not but I am attempting to locate it! :)) My house was full to the brim for the better part of 8 days or so and I wouldn't trade one little bit of it! I absolutely LOVED the short amount of time on Saturday where all of my children were in my house! We laughed, we cried, we ate, we played and we laughed and cried some more! Sunday had to be one of the most difficult days I have had in awhile. It began around 3:30am when I got up to say goodbye to David, Christa and Addison. Telling Christa goodbye so she could situate herself in the car for the ride to airport with my eyes full of tears was tough! Holding Addison and hugging her sleepy little body should have lasted a lot longer than it did! :)) Then feeling my big, burly boy hug his momma brought on fresh tears that just didn't want to stop! They headed off and I headed back to bed. For sleep?? Yea, right. That didn't happen! I laid there and wondered why God thought this was something necessary for me to do. Its a good thing He is totally used to my questions at this point! I got back up when Kevin came to get Ashley and Andrew to take them to the airport. And guess what, the tears came again for I knew that life with Ashley would never be the same. She was off on her new life. True - she is here, she lives close but......not in my house where she has been for over 20 years! I survived church and leftovers for dinner. Then we loaded up again and headed for the airport with Josh and Carrie. I was pretty proud of myself until I heard the sniffles from the back seat when we were about 10 minutes from the airport. I hugged Josh and then hugged and held Carrie while we both cried some more. I am pretty sure the airport "cop on wheels" was getting antsy with us being in the way! :) I climbed in the car and we pulled away. I am pretty sure Dave thought the blubbering would never stop.

What have I learned in the last couple of weeks? Thankfully, God and Dave never get tired of my blubbering. They both ever so lovingly assure and remind me that this is something I can handle. I can remember reading those books where people would advise couples to make sure they had a life together that did not involve the children and Dave and I have worked hard at doing that. I am so grateful and feel so blessed by the marriage God has given me. But I am still searching and working on my new normal. Some things in my life have not changed. I am still working full time, still going to school (for ONE MORE semester), still going to church, still doing laundry and dishes. Some things just don't change. And the miracle of that is, God doesn't change either. He is still patient, still teaching, still longing for me to spend more time with Him, still prodding me to change the things that don't please Him, still speaking to me in the quiet times. So much has changed in my life but the important things have stayed the same. Dave being the best hubby ever - I never want to take that for granted! God - you see, even in that one word there is peace for He never changes. I am pretty sure He wishes I would but that doesn't make Him stop loving me.

I can't say this blog will mean anything to anyone but me and I guess that is all that matters. I read something the other day that prompted me to tell myself that there is no true worship in whining. I know that God knows I am not trying to whine. I must learn to worship Him in my life! Why?? I have decided in the last 2 weeks that my kids need me more now than ever. They just don't need me the same. They need me on my knees! So - if my blog is silent here and there, I'm praying for my kids! And yes, David and Carrie - that means I am praying for you to move to Indiana!!! :)))))

I Am Not Dead! Yet!!

I looked at my blog this morning and realized that I have not updated things for a couple of months. I need to do better at this! There are lots of thoughts and "stuff" going on in my head but I am not sure they are "blog worthy". Anyway - time will tell!



About the only thing going on right now is a lot of wedding planning! We are definitely on the home stretch with the last wedding in this Fulton household! The big day is fast approaching!!



I am pretty confident that the bride-to-be will be super excited for Saturday to get here! You see, that is when the fun begins! Carrie and Josh arrive Saturday! David, Christa and Addison will be here Tuesday as will Briana - THE best friend from Florida! So you see, once Saturday arrives all will be right in the bride's world!

I don't have much time for any more. I will definitely post some pictures here when the big event is over. In the meantime I will leave you with this thought - make the most of every minute you have with those closest to you! Things change very quickly!

Just a tidbit!

This "old" girl just isn't as dumb as she looks!!! I somehow managed to pull off making the Deans List for this summer semester! How in the world did I do that? Truthfully - I have no idea!!! Typically, a semester is 16 weeks long which isn't too bad but a summer semester is 8 weeks long with 16 weeks of work crammed into it. This summer - I took a speech class on campus on Tuesday evenings which was an interesting event all in itself!! Then I took 2 online classes. If you combine all that in an 8 week period, it makes for some hectic living! But - apparently I did it and did it well!! And - if you think I am tooting my own horn........you are right!!! :))))

There isn't much else that is new in our world! Oh yes - I have a spare room that is jammed to the hilt with wedding stuff! It is everywhere! But - Ashley is doing a fantastic job planning and putting it all together so I am doing what all good Mom's do and following her lead!!! :)))) And - I am doing it without being a "momzilla"!!! At least I think I am, you may want to check with her!!

Right now, the bright spot in my world is coming next week when I get to fly to Colorado with my hubby dearest for a short weekend meeting out there and I am extremely excited about that! Who knows - I may be convinced to actually put a picture or two on here but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you!! We fly back home on Monday and my 2 online classes start that day and my on-campus class starts the next evening! Blogging will not be high on my priority list! Besides that, there is this wedding coming which means my children are coming home and there will pretty much not be anything else on my mind!! :)))

What Happened...........

.....to my little baby boy who used to wake me up every two hours around the clock for food? And, the little boy who fought forever when I told him to pick up his toys? Oh and the kid who begged to play baseball only to spend most of the time getting hit by the ball when he got up to bat because the kids were afraid of his size? And, the one who started working when he was 13 because he was "bored" and didn't care for school and only went because we made him? Where oh where did the teenage boy go who had to work for weeks to fill a pitcher of rice to get back into his moms good graces?? And, where is that skinny, bald-headed kid I sent off to Marine Corp boot camp? Oh, and the one who came strolling off the bus straight from the "sandbox" and made us all blubbering idiots?? Well, he grew up and got married to WONDERFUL Christa and had a beautiful little girl of his own named Addison and I just can't figure out where time went!!!!

.....to my little "bald as a cue ball" baby girl who rared her head back and stared me straight in the eye before we ever left the hospital??? And, was scared of work boots and beards?? Oh and ran with her back as straight as an arrow? :)) Where did that smart as a cookie girl go to? You know the one, the National Honor Society girl, the piano player who could sit down and play pretty much whatever she wanted, the girl who curled into a ball if her brother tried to pick on her? Yes, the one who left the love of her life to move "half way around the world" in her opinion with her parents?? And, the one who married that TERRIFIC guy named Josh one year later in what everyone thought was the "sweetest" ceremony ever? Well, she grew up, married and moved to what her mom calls "half way around the world" and again, I have no clue where time went!!!!

.....to the little baby who refused to stay where she belonged until it was safe for her to make her appearance in the world? Where is that little girl who had the ability to light up a waiting room full of sick cancer patients with just a smile? Where did that little fighter go who had the rare ability to send her big brother running away? What happened to that girl who couldn't stand to be away from home but managed a 2 week stay in Alaska? Oh and the girl who moved half way through her high school and handled a new school for 2 years and managed to graduate as her class valedictorian? Well, let me tell you.....she is working close to full time, and planning her wedding for this November to one AWESOME guy named Andrew and designing a remodel of a house with him. And for the last time, I have no clue where time went???

So - what is the point of my rambling post?? I don't know really! :))) I just needed to tell you all (well, maybe just myself) that as big as my talk is, I really do miss my kids! BUT - I wouldn't trade where I am right now for anything! The main reason is because Jesus is teaching me some new stuff. Not easy stuff but new and it is making me a better person! I am blessed beyond words at what I have!! My husband loves me - despite my faults, my kids still enjoy being around me which is saying A LOT and God loves me. Maybe the point of my blog is just to somehow put into words just how blessed I am!

A Memory and A Story

Several years ago when we lived in East Tennessee, we were privileged to have Albert Barr as the evangelist at the church we were attending. As a matter of fact, we moved in on a Friday or Saturday and the revival started that following Monday I think. Talk about perfect timing! During this revival, Bro. Barr preached a message I don't think I will ever forget. He gave his text as Job 1 and he said, "The chapter begins with 'there was a man' and a few verses down it says 'there was a day' and it was a BAD day". He proceeded to preach one of the funniest messages I think I have ever heard. He told us that there were times in our lives when we just needed to laugh and I guess he thought that this was one of those times.

Well, time has passed and I have not forgotten that message. Last week I kept saying, "There was a family and there was a week and it was a BAD week". I tried to keep things in perspective though - there were a lot of people who were having weeks that were a whole lot worse than I mine! We had AWFUL weather! And I do mean AWFUL! We had ice everywhere and then snow - TONS of snow! My lovely place of employment was closed for a half day on Tuesday and all day Wednesday and for a bank, that should say something about the weather.

A family in our church had suffered a loss of their newborn daughter and since our Pastors were both gone, the family had asked Dave to preach the funeral Sunday afternoon. So, he was to preach at church Sunday morning, have the funeral Sunday afternoon and preach at church again on Sunday night. Now - just what do preachers need to do when they are scheduled to preach?? Yes - that would be study!! But no - Saturday was just not a good day! We woke up to - MORE snow! Again - this was no small amount of snow either! I had to work so I headed to the gas station first and guess what? I couldn't get the gas flap open!!!! So, I came on to work and called Dave who very kindly offered to bail me out of trouble and drive to the bank to get the car and put gas in it! Well, on his trip to the bank he discovered that the weather was a lot worse than he had originally thought so he offered to stick around and lead us all back to town so that if there were any problems - he would be able to help us out! Guess who ended up needing the help?? Yea - that would be me! Want to know why???? Well, as we were all creeping along the road through 3 or more inches of snow, this.................person decided to blow through a stop sign and plow into my car and send me spinning across the road where I slammed into a ditch!! My pretty green car!!! I was shaking (from fear of course) and trying to find my phone which had flown off my lap to call Dave who was just in front of me and was already on his way back! The above mentioned..........person came and opened my passenger door and said, "Man - you slid right into me"! EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?! Did I hear you correctly????? No - I didn't say it but I sure thought it!! :))) I pretty much ignored him and just started talking to Dave! A girl I worked with had been right behind me and saw the whole thing and she was quite determined to stick around and make SURE the cops knew that I was NOT a fault! That was kinda funny really! Anyway, the nice cop came and filled out the nice report on the not so nice........person. Then the nice wrecker driver came and got my not so nice car out of the ditch and took it to its potential final resting place. And yes, as of today, it is totaled. My pretty green car is no longer pretty thanks to that........person!! Suffice it to say, my poor husband did not get to spend Saturday like he was planning to! But - as I knew 'twould be - God stepped in and helped Dave through both church services and the funeral! Wow - he did such a good job and I was ever so proud of him!! Oh and for the record, my body hurt like it had been hit by a semi (and still hurts to be frank)!! And so begins the process of car shopping which is not one of my favorite activities but we will do it nonetheless!

Oh and let's brighten the week up by saying that tax time for those who are self-employed is absolutely NOT FUN!!!!

However, on a bright note - there have been some powerful songs going through my mind in recent days as I have survived this week and thought about those around me and close to me that are hurting so deeply. My husband has been going around the house singing a song and the one line that has been standing out to me is this - "For the Potter knows the clay". There is no greater reassurance than that my friend! THE Potter - MY Potter knows how much I can take and while I may think differently, HE knows what is best for me! And that - causes me to rest in Him!

Comfort

As I sit at the desk today (supposed to be doing school work), I am looking out the window at a very white world. Our little house has been surrounded by snow and not just ordinary snow either. This stuff is a hard mix of snow and sleet and is shoveled away in chunks. There is no work for me today, Dave is out shoveling for his boss and Ashley is still tucked in bed with her computer.

Last week, our church was in revival with John Parker. Needless to say, I was convicted every single night and from that has come some serious soul searching. Bro. Parker's first message was about not "quenching the Spirit" and it spoke volumes to me. Another message he preached was about "be BEING filled with the Spirit". This message helped me so much in this way. Now, this will call for some serious transparency but here goes anyway. For years, I felt that true Holiness was directly tied to how well I kept my house cleaned and perfect, how well I kept the laundry done up, how many delicious, "homemade", well-balanced meals I cooked for my family, how "perfect" my hair was done, how well-behaved and well-mannered and smart my kids were. You get the picture I am sure. Let's just say, I was one messed up in the head female. My dear husband and I have had many conversations on this topic and he has often told me that he loved my messed up female head but that I really needed to FIX my messed up head! Anyway, God spoke to me that night and helped me clear some of these messed up issues in my life. But through all that, I must admit that spiritual growth can be quite painful at times and not a bit comfortable. As God has shown me item after item in my life that He wants changed, it has caused me no small amount of pain as I have tried to commit each and every issue back into His hands. The awesome thing for me is this - I get the privilege of CONTINUING to grow in HIS time. See - BEING filled with the Spirit is an ongoing process and for me, I think I go at a total different pace than anyone else does and according to God, that is ok with Him!

This morning, I started reading a book by Max Lucado called "It's Not About Me". Within the first couple of pages, I ran across this statement and was rather shocked at its application to me right now. He says, "....the world does not revolve around us. Our comfort is not God's priority. If it is, something's gone awry". God does not intend for my life to be a bed of roses. Instead, growing and drawing close to Him can be painful but what I tend to lose sight of is the end result. So, my ongoing growth, while painful, is something I am willing to work through in order to become all about Him and nothing about me.

Jibber Jabber

After much thought and countless hours in meditation about my blog (yea right - like anyone would believe that), I think I shall have to keep it. I find myself needing the therapy of mindless rambling here and there. So, if for no one else but me, my fingers shall dance across the keyboard in hopes of ....... I don't know, releasing some of the junk from my brain to clear it up for more junk. SOunds promising now, doesn't it? And in case you are looking, this is a picture-less post! Most of them are! :)) If you want to see pictures, find me on Facebook! Better yet, become friends with the other females in my family! Their pictures on FB are much more entertaining!
First of all, I will catch you up on the latest news of the residents and non-residents of the funny farm. Dave - our head honcho - is working, preaching and keeping me in line. A really cool even that is happening is that he is the evangelist at UBC revival next week. Reason for this being cool - its one of our "alma maters". Neat huh?? I thought so!!
David and Christa are doing well in Hobe Sound. Have I mentioned yet that we are extremely happy the 4 years of service are over?? Addison is growing like a weed and is the cutest child bar none! I know - I am prejudiced!
Josh and Carrie are enjoying having more family in Hobe Sound and I know they are not spoiling Addison at all! :)) Yea....right! They are both working on finishing up their degrees which keeps them busy since they both work also.
Ashley - oh my............my youngest child is dreaming of weddings! The official engagement took place while we were in Florida. It is actually a cute funny story and so very much fitting for Andrew and Ashley! At this moment they are planning a November wedding. I will think more about it a little later but for now, I am enjoying the laundry getting done without my help, supper being cooked with no assistance from me and a clean house when I get home from work. Methinks I shall mess the girl!! Anyway, another year of change is coming!! :))
As for the stange and messed up mom, let's see....still working, school started back on Monday and that is the extent of my life. By the way, remember when I complained about Algebra?? Yes well....Biology will rank right up there. Why in the world do I have to take a science class for a business degree is beyond me but Chemistry sure wasn't a choice! It should be a fun semester! Or......maybe not!!!
I have embarked on a new personal journey recently and am anxious to see what the results are. I made some new years resolutions that I am still working on and that is an accomplishment for me. Most of them are private and not for public knowledge but there are two I will share here. One is that I want to do a better job at more consistent devotions. I know....someone as old as me should have that down pat by now. And, I bet if you go back in time you will discover that I have said that before several times. However, God is helping me in this area and I am excited for what I am learning! Secondly, I am working on reading some good, uplifting, soul-searching books. Yep - laying aside those boring textbooks here and there and reading something "better". Someone loaned me a few that I am looking forward to reading. I am sure my husband would say that he has tons of books I could read but commentaries are not exactly up my alley! :)) I guess I have put those in writing for the world to see to ask these questions. 1) What works for you in your devotional life? 2) What good books have you read, are reading or want to read that you would recommend?
Ok - that's it for now! It took me most of the day to get this one done so we should be good for a day or two! But then, you never know - I could do this again before you know it! :))