This blog could be a mess but I seem to have a lot on my mind this morning and I am afraid that if I don't get it out, there could be a blow up soon so here goes.
I have been doing some thinking this week especially since Sunday morning. We had school revival last week with Jonathan Heath and Sunday morning he preached about revival and the reasons we don't experience it. This general thought has brought lots of things to my mind and then prayer meeting last night really got things to brewing!
First of all - confession - I am sooooooo guilty of getting wrapped up in my own little life and all the "problems" that I quickly lose sight of the bigger picture. For instance, we found out yesterday that a very, very dear friend of our family has breast cancer and will be having surgery this next week. I felt so frustrated in the beginning for I can't figure out "why her". Then my husband gently reminded me that God only brings what we can handle so HE must believe that they can make it through this. Of course my brain is way too wrapped up in the next 7 months of adventures in my sons life. Someone reminded me on Monday night at his party that I needed to remember that he was in God's hands and there is no safer place to be. Lesson? Let go and let God handle my "problems". Life would be much better if I did that!!!
Then of course there is the whole spiritual aspect of my life. Where do I stand anyway? Am I so caught up in the things that are going on in my life that I have lost sight of God? Priorities get so out of wack so easily it seems. I know - I am busy just like everyone else. There is always laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, homework, vehicle stuff, teenage "stuff", diets, exercise (or lack of those two), church, work and who knows what else. BUT - what about my Bible reading and prayer time? Are they really up to what I NEED them to be?? Do I really care enough about my relationship with God to change what I need to no matter the consequences with others?
I have been reading recently about the children of Israel and how the temple was destroyed and they have spent years in captivity. Now Ezra has begun the rebuilding process. But think about that - the Israelites had been in captivity so long that the younger generation had no idea about what "used" to be. The younger ones had probably adopted a life completely different from what their forefathers had lived. Present day - have I been so lazy in my spiritual life for so long that my children don't remember the "real" Holy life expected of us? It's just become a routine - a day to day living and handling the mundane duties of life. I sense a problem here.
Last night, Pastor Wolfe talked about purity but not like you think when you first read the word. There is so much more to it than that. I don't believe I ever realized it before. That is something I intend to study some more on my own. Being pure goes far beyond the "intimate" part of life. Being pure before God in entertainment, dress, activities and so much more.
Okay - so I have rattled enough. I am so very thankful for the faithfulness of God to speak to me when I need it most. I am not out here by myself. I know in my quest for the "real"....I will find God and that is all I need!