I am sitting here at my desk barely holding the tears at bay. Christa and her parents are taking David to the airport in Atlanta as I type this. He flies back to base tonight in order to be there by noon tomorrow when his leave is over. He will find out the final plans tomorrow but as far as I know he will be heading out either Tuesday or Wednesday.
It seemed that as long as he was either here or with Christa, the "real" wasn't happening. I feel like I just cut the final string and my heart is torn to bits. I don't think I have fallen completely apart yet so unfortunately the worst is yet to come for you poor people who read this!!
I have all the favorite "sayings" down pat like - "God knows what is happening" and "He hasn't promised more than we can handle" and "Just trust in God" and all the other ones I can't think of right now. However, right now - I can't wrap my brain or my heart around the fact that my son is going to war. I can't picture him riding on top of a hummer with a 50 cal gun in his hand. I can't stomach the idea of him being cold for winter is coming or not hearing from him like I am used to. Of course there is always the fear that he will be bored and when he gets bored the world has no idea what can happen!!
So - here I sit. Tears are threatening like I can't imagine and the cold fear is starting to creep in. I know - sounds horrible doesn't it? Sorry - honesty is what I need right now. I have to unload this somewhere or my office mates are going to think they are working in an insane asylum!! I guess I just need to spout this off somewhere! If I were home, the situation would be different for Dave is the best supporter I have and I simply wouldn't survive without him.
Somehow I know that I will survive this and I have to be strong for my girls and Christa. Hopefully the next 7 months will fly by. That is what I am hanging onto right now. Thanks for "listening" and maybe before took long, I will have better stuff to post about and all will be bright and shiny again. Who knows? Miracles do happen!!