WARNING: The following post contains some "morbid" thoughts. Today has been one of those days already. Pardon me while I blubber around a bit!
If you read my blog and see the list of names down the side, you will find LaDonna's name and last evening her mother-in-law passed away. Here is a little history for you - my husband and her husband, Joe, grew up together pretty much from the time David was 8 and returned to the states from Bolivia. If I can say this correctly, David's Dad's mom and Joe's Mother's Mom were sisters. There - sounds complicated and so we just say "cousins" to make it easier to handle! I will leave the details to LaDonna since she will be there sometime later today but I just wanted to post some of my "messed up" thoughts.
Luella was a saint and I do NOT say that lightly AT ALL! She was an amazing person and I am blessed to have known her! She was a person of quiet strength. In my eyes, she was not loud, not overly emotional, NEVER yelled that I know of but I can't say I know anyone as STRONG as she was. The thing that stands out to me more than anything is the love and respect her children and grandchildren and now, great-grandchildren have for her. She was a true spiritual giant in my life and it was almost all by her quiet example, NOT always the words she said. At campmeeting, on the rare occasions that I heard her speak, EVERYONE listened! At her home, she was quiet yet gracious and always made you feel welcome. I always enjoyed watching her laugh at the stories her boys would tell. (Now THAT subject alone would make a book!!) You never really HEARD her laugh, you had to SEE her laugh. I am so blessed to have known her and am grateful for the impact she had on my life.
My other thoughts today were of a Marine that was killed in Iraq who was from Christa's home area. I watched some video clips from the funeral procession and needless to say, I was somewhat bothered. I know - probably not smart of me. I have become much more proud of our military in recent months. People have no clue as to the heartache the families face on a day to day basis. It's like a waiting game that is just not fun. Every knock, every phone call - just makes you think it's "the one". While I realize that we now have less than 3 months to go on this "trip" we're on, I also realize that it's NOT over yet. I know - sounds morbid but I warned you!!
Then very carefully this morning, the Lord brought the sweetest memory to my mind. A very dear saint stood up in early morning prayer meeting at camp some years back and said two words that I shall never forget!!! "...but God"!! That was her whole testimony! When the devil comes and brings the doubts and discouragements, we need to say, "but God"! When times get hard and things don't go like we plan, we can say, "but God"! It would be like this, "I have no idea where to turn to with this pain, 'but God' knows exactly where I am and what I need"! See? That is what I mean!! God was sooooo very near to me and reminded me very sweetly that while I don't know all I THINK I should, HE does and that is all that matters.
So in the pain of the day and the frustrations that life brings, God knows what's best! HE KNOWS!!!