Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Just Me Putting Thoughts Down

WARNING: The following post contains some "morbid" thoughts. Today has been one of those days already. Pardon me while I blubber around a bit!
If you read my blog and see the list of names down the side, you will find LaDonna's name and last evening her mother-in-law passed away. Here is a little history for you - my husband and her husband, Joe, grew up together pretty much from the time David was 8 and returned to the states from Bolivia. If I can say this correctly, David's Dad's mom and Joe's Mother's Mom were sisters. There - sounds complicated and so we just say "cousins" to make it easier to handle! I will leave the details to LaDonna since she will be there sometime later today but I just wanted to post some of my "messed up" thoughts.
Luella was a saint and I do NOT say that lightly AT ALL! She was an amazing person and I am blessed to have known her! She was a person of quiet strength. In my eyes, she was not loud, not overly emotional, NEVER yelled that I know of but I can't say I know anyone as STRONG as she was. The thing that stands out to me more than anything is the love and respect her children and grandchildren and now, great-grandchildren have for her. She was a true spiritual giant in my life and it was almost all by her quiet example, NOT always the words she said. At campmeeting, on the rare occasions that I heard her speak, EVERYONE listened! At her home, she was quiet yet gracious and always made you feel welcome. I always enjoyed watching her laugh at the stories her boys would tell. (Now THAT subject alone would make a book!!) You never really HEARD her laugh, you had to SEE her laugh. I am so blessed to have known her and am grateful for the impact she had on my life.
My other thoughts today were of a Marine that was killed in Iraq who was from Christa's home area. I watched some video clips from the funeral procession and needless to say, I was somewhat bothered. I know - probably not smart of me. I have become much more proud of our military in recent months. People have no clue as to the heartache the families face on a day to day basis. It's like a waiting game that is just not fun. Every knock, every phone call - just makes you think it's "the one". While I realize that we now have less than 3 months to go on this "trip" we're on, I also realize that it's NOT over yet. I know - sounds morbid but I warned you!!
Then very carefully this morning, the Lord brought the sweetest memory to my mind. A very dear saint stood up in early morning prayer meeting at camp some years back and said two words that I shall never forget!!! "...but God"!! That was her whole testimony! When the devil comes and brings the doubts and discouragements, we need to say, "but God"! When times get hard and things don't go like we plan, we can say, "but God"! It would be like this, "I have no idea where to turn to with this pain, 'but God' knows exactly where I am and what I need"! See? That is what I mean!! God was sooooo very near to me and reminded me very sweetly that while I don't know all I THINK I should, HE does and that is all that matters.
So in the pain of the day and the frustrations that life brings, God knows what's best! HE KNOWS!!!


Linda S said...

Leah, I am sorry for the death of your husband's great aunt I believe. Thank you for your testimony....."But God". That is encouraging. Wish you were here to go with us Saturday to make a decision of a wedding gown. Guess you will get your turn twice and maybe sooner than you want. :)

LaDonna said...

Leah, thanks for the great post about my Mother-in-law...she was a great woman and left large shoes to be filled! Just to remind you, we pray for David EVERY DAY! And we also include your family member's names in there, too. Love you all.

Ashley said...

Hey mom!!! luv ya bunches!!!! and btw, if i werent in BQ class rite now, i wld prolly be crying! lol loved the post! Ur AWESOME!!!

Tamra said...

Isn't "but, God" a comforting thought!

Vonnie said...

Great post... thanks Leah!

~Heather~ said...

That is sad that Joe's Mom passed away. My Moma just wrote that she wasn't feeling well enough to go her funeral today, but that my Daddy went.

You are so right...BUT GOD! I've been struggling with some very SAD news in one of my friend's lives and every time I want to get discouraged, I just remember that same phrase that you wrote about...BUT GOD!!! God is able to do above what we can even ask or think!

Praying for y'all and David!
Love, Heather