I have been pondering this blog for a little over 24 hours and am still not sure exactly how it will turn out but here goes.
Psalm 3:3 - For thou O Lord are a shield for me; the Glory and the Lifter of my head."
This verse has become something very special to me recently and even more so since about 6:15 yesterday morning. Since this is the Internet and everyone has access no matter how much I wish they didn't, I still must be careful what I say so I will just provide you with a few sketchy details. Yesterday as I was getting ready for work the phone rang and it was David. He had returned from a short "trip" and was checking in. Reality? - Oh yea, he wanted to let us know his "truck" received some unexpected damage in an accident(?). Those responsible for that damage were quickly "disposed" of and he arrived back at his starting point safe and sound along with all of his friends. He sounded quite tired and had a very bad headache from the accident but all was well. He talked to his Dad for a little while and then signed off to talk to his "better half" and then hit the bed.
So after literally picking myself back up off the floor, I went on with my day but I couldn't get two thoughts out of my head and so I am sharing them. Sharing them probably for therapy for me but to give you something to think about also. First thought - the Lord is not only a "shield" for me but a "shield" for those I pray for. I pray for David every single day and pretty much all day long if you want the truth. The fact is - the Lord is a "shield for me" to protect me from things HE doesn't want to happen. Newsflash - that doesn't mean He is protecting me from bad things that "I" don't want to have happen to me. You want honesty - I am NOT there yet but I am working on it.
Second thought - how many of you took your babies to church on a Sunday all dressed up and dedicated them to God? How many of you pray every single day that God will use your child in whatever way HE desires? Then you thank God for them and commit them to His care for that day? See - I did all that and still do all of that. But since yesterday morning I have been trying to figure out how to still do that even if it means God's Will is one of them going to Heaven REALLY REALLY early! Any thoughts on how that is supposed to happen? I know - sounds morbid doesn't it? The truth is I know that God knows best and knows exactly what needs to happen in the lives of all three of my children. It has just been made quite fresh and new to me that my ways are not His ways and while I pray those things and think I really do believe them, do I really BELIEVE them?
Don't get me wrong - I thanked God ALL day long yesterday for His protection. My advice? Hug your children close, thank God for them and be very, very careful what you pray for and how you pray it. Truthfully? He does answer prayer - just not always how we think He should.
7 comments:
My neighbor has told me some of the same things you just said, "Be careful what prayers you pray!" She was praying "whatever it takes to save my husband," and God took her daughter's life at age 13! She told me at the hospital, "This isn't what I meant!!!" Every night when I hear Clayton praying for David, it melts my heart! He is in our prayers each evening, and I have his picture on the kitchen cabinet to remind me to breathe a prayer for him throughout the day. Keep us posted!
Can't imagine what you are going through!! I will return home from work today and give the boys an extra long hug!!
What a wake up call... may we all take it to heart for each of our children!!
We learn in new ways how to trust our children into God's care. The awesomeness of it all is that God loves David even more than you do. It's hard to imagine a love like that. Even more awesome is the fact that we can rest in God's care. He understands a mother and fathers heart. He knows how much a person can bear. He will be faithful. I know!!! He will not let David down. Just as David calls on the phone to be connected to the ones that he loves, God will stay connected to David no matter where he goes or what situation he becomes involved in.
Once upon a time I was feeling very low. On a particular day I was desperate for reassurance that God was in control. I was anxious for news. After I received a call my phone would not disconnect. It had never done that before. I was made aware that God was in control and he would never disconnect himself from me or my problems. It is wonderful to be connected.
(Sorry for writing a book)!! I hope this is helpful.
I have hugged my kiddies close today.....even after Chloe broke my curtain rod and Blake dumped his bowl of peaches on the floor....but I think, after reading this, I'll go hug them again....and breathe a prayer for you guys at the same time! Lots of love to you all!
Leah - my heart was in my throat as I read your blog. And I'm sure that is nothing compared to where yours was after hearing David's "news!" A great blog, and a good reminder to all of us to keep surrounding him with our prayers.
May God bless you with peace and may you sense His arms carrying you and your family through this time. I pray daily for David-my favorite Marine! (even though I have never met him). I loved your post about David and Christa's childhood and romance!
Aunt Jan
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